It feels like I’m writing a book.
I am not anywhere near having my online store up and going. Almost daily I am editing, and then re-editing many pictures I have taken over the past few years in order to reach as much perfection as I possibly can before they are to be revealed. I’ve gone over them so much. I’ve often changed my mind over some of them. Taking them out, and then adding them back to the collection again. In case you didn’t already know, I’m in the process of creating my own Home Decor. There’s a whole lot more to the process, of course, than I thought. I’m not even passed Part 2. I don’t even know how many Parts there actually are. But I’ll get there eventually.
So its been a little over two months since I’ve written my last blog. I wish I could say that I’ve been spending all that time taking pictures like crazy, but I have not. I’ve rarely touched my camera since my previous blog back in July. It wasn’t entirely by choice, but partially I’ve taken a small break to work on other things, such as getting my Home Decor good enough to perfection ( did I ever mention that I’m highly critical of my work? ), and spending all my money on building my new house. Besides that: lots of sleep.
There is, however, something else I would like to share that has been a huge part of my life lately. Most people already know, that I do have a day job. I am hoping to one day do photography full time. But as of right now, God has me at an entirely different place. And while working at my day job, it has made me remember many prayers I prayed to God often as a teenager, and as a young adult, not realizing how God answered this prayer in such a way that was nothing like I wanted. I would often pray,” Lord, give me the opportunity to serve You.” Of course I’d go into more detail, but you get the picture. For a while I had complained to God about why He wouldn’t answer my prayer. I would complain as to why He had me at the current job I am at and what His purpose for it was, because I have other dreams and desires, and other ways of serving that are more interesting and exciting to me. It always felt like my prayers were hitting the wall.
It wasn’t until recently, that the eyes of my heart were finally opened to the truth of my prayers. When I think of service, I often thing of feeding orphans in another country, or serving more at my church, going on mission trips that impact people away from where I live. I always saw this kind of serving as,” happy service.” In truth, I never saw the exact same need to the people I see everyday. And not only that, not all service is “happy service.” At my job, I must serve some of the rudest people all day. Some people walk in with their kids, cussing at or in front of their kids, yelling and screaming. I must serve those people. When I accidentally drop something and it spills everywhere, people rarely help me to pick everything up. Instead, I am often laughed at, because they think its funny. I must serve these people. Some people who I meet everyday are addicted to drugs and are on a high, and often do or say things that people just shouldn’t say. I must serve these people. Some people come in who never bathe or brush their teeth. I must serve these people. Some people talk down to me and make me feel worthless. I must hold back my tongue, and serve these people. Some people like to be extra bold and flirt more than they should to me. I receive mysterious stares from men who make me feel uncomfortable and disrespected. I must serve these people. You might be asking yourself,” What kind of job do you have?” Lets just say, I serve a lot of people. And no, I often do not enjoy it. My service there hasn’t always been “happy service.” However, I have had to accept that God is truly teaching me what true service for Him really is. It reminds me of how I have prayed just for this before and didn’t know it. Wherever I am placed, am I living my life as I should? Am I living out my faith even where I do not want to be, even when I fail to see God moving, even when there is no explanation? I do not know God’s plan, but do I have to know it now in order to trust Him with where I’m at in my life? No living out my faith according to my terms, but according to God’s terms.
Oh, and another thing. I cut all my hair.