Me Change

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Its been a week and a half since progress has been made on my little house. The picture above is as of right now the best angle of my future bedroom looking in where my future living area will be. I have two and a half weeks before scheduled painting is to occur. However, I’m not sure my house will be ready by that time. In the meantime, I’m still planning and doing research for production of turning my landscape photography into Home Decor. Little by little its coming into play. As well in two and a half weeks, the beginning of my scheduled Fall Sessions will be taking place. There is still lots to be done. I must also mention of getting a head start on planning Christmas Mini Sessions to be scheduled in a couple of months. Yeah. I got a lot going on.

But what I am more excited about is seeing change. Today marks the first day of the Autumn season. I’ve been waiting for this time of year for the first time in my life. I’m more of a summer gal, but I really miss wearing my scarves. 🙂

When I mention change, I’m not talking about world change, church change, town or city change, or change of people. I’m talking about “Me Change.” If you read my previous blog, I mentioned that I do have a day job right now that I’ve been at for three years. I’ve had ups and downs of being satisfied and content with where God has me and then completely blowing it out of the water sometime later. I don’t entirely like how the process has been, but I can see in myself change when I finally decided to let go of self. Self is such a hard thing to acknowledge and to get rid of ( especially for us stubborn, hard headed, head strong red heads ) and it can be the very thing that reveals our true love for Christ, or our abandonment of Him. From the time I turned 25 ( last year ) to my Birthday back in August, I see where I have been foolish and in sin demanding my right in this life that I gave to God at the age of 13. I see it everywhere. But what’s important is that Jesus is love, and love creates change that reflects the one giving Love, which is Jesus. My desire is to be more like Jesus. So God changes me through all my mistakes and mishaps, and turns them into good. This time last year, I was a very discontent person who was confused as to why God was not answering my prayers to leave my job, pursue photography full time or to take another job else where in some sort of Media, but was instead leaving me to work on minimum wage. It felt so discouraging and I felt so often that God will not remember me or use me. But I was missing the entire point when I gave my life to Jesus when I was 13, my life became His. And He will do with me as He wishes for my own good! ( Rom. 8:28 ) He does not dislike me, but is a Father to me and as a Father is, knows what is best for me more than I believe because He is God! Sometimes God has us in places of being in a stand still because we have some tough stuff we need to get out before Him so we can then move forward. However, sometimes that process can take a very long time because we are all sinners. Our sin, our flesh prevents us from moving forward. Sometimes,we just gotta learn the hard way. And boy, am I one of those people.

There is hope, for looking back on this year alone I see more of the fingerprints of God making me more to be His reflection. And because I know that, I am moving forward to great things…just in His timing…and in His own way…whenever I let go of self. 🙂

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